Feeling Guilty All the Time? You Might Actually Be Experiencing Shame.
Challenging Shame as the Eldest Daughter of an Asian Family
Enmeshment & Emotion Cut-off in Eldest Daughters of Asian Families
As the eldest daughter of a Taiwanese family, I’ve experienced both extremes of enmeshment and emotional cut-off. Growing up, I was my mother’s confidant and emotional reservoir. Because of financial stressors, my dad was mostly absent, and everyday after school, my mother would pour out her mental and emotional woes while I sat silently, feeling helpless, absorbing. I was a sponge for her grievances— I felt her anger, her sadness, as if they were my own. I sided with her against my father. I became her little mini-me who was out to avenge for the injustice inflicted upon her. I was praised for my identity as my “mother’s helper”.