Perfectionists

You find yourself in a chronic state of “never good enough”, causing you constant fixation on small details, always looking for minute flaws. This can cause you to spend too much time and energy on one thing, eventually leading to burnout. You have a harsh inner critic who is like a micromanaging boss, constantly shaming you for making the tiniest mistakes. You fear failure and being seen as incompetent or a disappointment. You immediately feel shame when you don’t meet your expectations (which may be unrealistically high). Sometimes the need to be “perfect” overwhelms you that you find yourself in a state of procrastination paralysis. You rarely like to try new things because you’re not “good” at them and you find yourself out of touch with the concept of having fun. Your relationship to rest is either non-existent as rest causes you to feel immense guilt for being unproductive. You’re tired of being trapped by perfection, but you fear what’s on the other side.

You grew up in a culture/home environment where your value was tied to how "responsible”, “good”, and “helpful” you were. Often times you were praised for being able to anticipate other’s needs before they even verbalized them. You grew up believing that being “good” meant always putting others before yourself. Taking care of yourself or doing what you wanted often feels selfish. You need to be needed, but you are out of touch with your needs and desires. Because of this, you have a hard time saying “no”, setting boundaries, and asking for what you need. You fear what others will think of you if you are not helpful. You are willing to be an emotional support for friends and family, yet you fear burdening others with your own pain. You aren’t very vulnerable with sharing your thoughts and opinions for fear of judgement. You can’t stand not being liked so you conform to be what you think others want you to be—leaving you feeling alone because you don’t allow others to see your true self. You spiral in self-doubt and don’t know who you are. You often feel responsible for how others feel so you make yourself small and don’t rock the boat. You take on extra responsibility because “if not you, then who?” but later feel immense resentment especially if others do not recognize your efforts. You constantly seek external validation and reassurance. Things often feel like obligations and if you don’t fulfill them, you are flooded with guilt. You have spent much of your life “self-sacrificing” to the point of exhaustion. You are ready to break free from people-pleasing and align with your true and authentic self!

You often feel like you don’t belong. This stems from internalizing that something is inherently wrong with you. So you overcompensate to hide what you consider to be “defects”. You fear that if others find out those “defects”, you would be fired, humiliated, or shamed. Because of this fear, you are constantly on the lookout, bracing yourself, and waiting for the shoe to drop. Because you feel like you’re behind, you often overwork and over-perform—holding yourself to extreme expectations causing you to burnout. You have poor boundaries and feel that you don’t have the option to say “no”. You may actually be successful, but your state of fear prevents you from seeing that success. You’re ready to overcome your fear, truly feel empowered in your own skin, and make the imposter syndrome the imposter in your life!